What makes one legendary?
It is 1.30 a.m. and can you guess what or who I'm thinking about? Trust me, I've been thinking of a man who passed away 14 years and 26 days ago. I was a nine year old kid while he expired, which I would say was not even the age to understand a person or what death meant in this world. Though I haven't spent much time with him, he is the one I relate to myself the most. I don't really have any analytical explanation for this sense of belonging. Thinking of him, surfaced a couple of incidents narrated by my mom and aunt. As always, I would like to get into both of their shoes to narrate the incidents.
Early 2000's
It's just another hectic day at the office only to come back home to do household chores and manage children. One of them is nine and the other twelve. Whatever I'm today is because of the education I pursued and the job I earned. What can I say about life? It is constant hustle at office and house while aspiring to build a new house. Though my parents live in the same town and I wish to spend more time with them, what can I do to find time for them? Everyday I woke up as if I was going to a war, work like a machine until late night to repeat the same schedule the next day. I was always on the wheel. Just when I started getting financially stable, I desired a large house where life can be led peacefully. Getting a house built is no easy, while you have other tasks to do that can occupy your whole day. I whispered sorry to dad everyday for not being able to meet him.
His health started deteriorating but this time I'd no excuses to make for visiting him. My heart wept seeing his health degenerating. He sat in the bed with difficulty to talk to me, who he considered as his smartest child. We spoke for hours and he asked for one thing, just one thing. He asked for a mattress since his back was aching lying down all day. I did want to buy. I really wanted to. But with all the commitments I had in hand, it was too late by the time I bought a mattress for the person who made me into someone who I am today. He was under constant medication for less than a week before he left us forever.
It broke my heart to pieces. I screamed, 'Fuck that house, fuck my job,' in my head. Screamed so hard that I didn't want to do or have anything else in the world apart from buying a mattress for my father. When I wanted to leave the college faraway from my home right after attending the first day, he calmly brought me back home. He believed I could do anything else but not live in a place where I did not feel comfortable. I was ridiculed and was treated as a chicken for coming back. Later, I joined another college in another city which is a different story. He trusted me when nobody else did. To the man who would give away his soul for me, I could not buy a mattress at the right time. Look at this irony. While living a life in which I didn't have a minute for myself, I could pull out hours for my father who already fell ill. I was in the same circumstances when he asked for what he wanted and during his medication. Defying the odds, I could pull out money for medication in the same period of time. I broke down narrating this incident to my daughter a decade later. But, what for? A corner of my heart still weeps for him and his last little wish.
We think we are so busy to take out time for anyone until we are hit by the hard fact that people won't be with us forever. It's not that we don't love them. It's just that we think we have all the time in the world to shower love upon the people we love. Do we? It is now! It's okay to put down other projects when your loved one needs you. At that moment, whatever the project you are immersed in feels more important. Only when you lose your loved one do you realize that you can do your project any other fucking day, any other fucking year or not at all. It doesn't really matter in a decade. But, not being able to be by your loved one's side and fulfill little wishes, it'll be a regret for life. You can only show how much one means to you now. Not tomorrow. Not any other day. It cannot be postponed.
Late 1980's
I was bearing my first child in my womb. Apparently, I did not know how to take care of myself. Neither did I have a husband who could skip his day job to emotionally support me nor did I have a mother-in-law who would educate me. Let alone a mother-in-law who would take care of her pregnant daughter-in-law, here I had one who would not let me have food. My father came to attend a wedding in a town close by the small town I lived in. He made sure to visit and check upon me. As he came, I welcomed him and asked if he was hungry to which he answered that he just had his lunch at the wedding. He talked to all the members in my house and kept calm all the while. Later he questioned if I had lunch to which I remained silent. He clutched my hand and informed my mother-in-law that he would send me back in a few days. Though she asked him to let me stay, he was persistent to take me home. Neither did he ask me what was wrong nor did I complain. He just knew. I did not leave my home until I delivered the child.
My aunt narrated me this incident with moist eyes that spoke loads about how much she missed him. Besides, this incident triggered something else inside me. Why do you think, years ago, a person could understand a scenario despite not being expressed and now, isn't able to understand something the other person says a thousand times? I'd say it's because of over-communication. We have so much accessibility to communicate in reality and virtually that, we cannot look beyond the words. We no more have the silence that bonds a relationship which can communicate even when thousands of miles away. Do you really have to share how many times you sneezed today with the particular person? Over communication killed the essence of communication itself. Before responding to what someone just said, take a second to understand and relate to it. Communication isn't throwing words at each other. It is expressing and understanding each other's views. There is a lot of difference between mere talking and expressing. Let the words flow out of your mouth only after you comprehend each word that passed through your ears.
Being able to live beyond one's lifetime in memory throughout another person's lifetime is what makes one legendary, a hero.
Early 2000's
It's just another hectic day at the office only to come back home to do household chores and manage children. One of them is nine and the other twelve. Whatever I'm today is because of the education I pursued and the job I earned. What can I say about life? It is constant hustle at office and house while aspiring to build a new house. Though my parents live in the same town and I wish to spend more time with them, what can I do to find time for them? Everyday I woke up as if I was going to a war, work like a machine until late night to repeat the same schedule the next day. I was always on the wheel. Just when I started getting financially stable, I desired a large house where life can be led peacefully. Getting a house built is no easy, while you have other tasks to do that can occupy your whole day. I whispered sorry to dad everyday for not being able to meet him.
His health started deteriorating but this time I'd no excuses to make for visiting him. My heart wept seeing his health degenerating. He sat in the bed with difficulty to talk to me, who he considered as his smartest child. We spoke for hours and he asked for one thing, just one thing. He asked for a mattress since his back was aching lying down all day. I did want to buy. I really wanted to. But with all the commitments I had in hand, it was too late by the time I bought a mattress for the person who made me into someone who I am today. He was under constant medication for less than a week before he left us forever.
It broke my heart to pieces. I screamed, 'Fuck that house, fuck my job,' in my head. Screamed so hard that I didn't want to do or have anything else in the world apart from buying a mattress for my father. When I wanted to leave the college faraway from my home right after attending the first day, he calmly brought me back home. He believed I could do anything else but not live in a place where I did not feel comfortable. I was ridiculed and was treated as a chicken for coming back. Later, I joined another college in another city which is a different story. He trusted me when nobody else did. To the man who would give away his soul for me, I could not buy a mattress at the right time. Look at this irony. While living a life in which I didn't have a minute for myself, I could pull out hours for my father who already fell ill. I was in the same circumstances when he asked for what he wanted and during his medication. Defying the odds, I could pull out money for medication in the same period of time. I broke down narrating this incident to my daughter a decade later. But, what for? A corner of my heart still weeps for him and his last little wish.
We think we are so busy to take out time for anyone until we are hit by the hard fact that people won't be with us forever. It's not that we don't love them. It's just that we think we have all the time in the world to shower love upon the people we love. Do we? It is now! It's okay to put down other projects when your loved one needs you. At that moment, whatever the project you are immersed in feels more important. Only when you lose your loved one do you realize that you can do your project any other fucking day, any other fucking year or not at all. It doesn't really matter in a decade. But, not being able to be by your loved one's side and fulfill little wishes, it'll be a regret for life. You can only show how much one means to you now. Not tomorrow. Not any other day. It cannot be postponed.
Late 1980's
I was bearing my first child in my womb. Apparently, I did not know how to take care of myself. Neither did I have a husband who could skip his day job to emotionally support me nor did I have a mother-in-law who would educate me. Let alone a mother-in-law who would take care of her pregnant daughter-in-law, here I had one who would not let me have food. My father came to attend a wedding in a town close by the small town I lived in. He made sure to visit and check upon me. As he came, I welcomed him and asked if he was hungry to which he answered that he just had his lunch at the wedding. He talked to all the members in my house and kept calm all the while. Later he questioned if I had lunch to which I remained silent. He clutched my hand and informed my mother-in-law that he would send me back in a few days. Though she asked him to let me stay, he was persistent to take me home. Neither did he ask me what was wrong nor did I complain. He just knew. I did not leave my home until I delivered the child.
My aunt narrated me this incident with moist eyes that spoke loads about how much she missed him. Besides, this incident triggered something else inside me. Why do you think, years ago, a person could understand a scenario despite not being expressed and now, isn't able to understand something the other person says a thousand times? I'd say it's because of over-communication. We have so much accessibility to communicate in reality and virtually that, we cannot look beyond the words. We no more have the silence that bonds a relationship which can communicate even when thousands of miles away. Do you really have to share how many times you sneezed today with the particular person? Over communication killed the essence of communication itself. Before responding to what someone just said, take a second to understand and relate to it. Communication isn't throwing words at each other. It is expressing and understanding each other's views. There is a lot of difference between mere talking and expressing. Let the words flow out of your mouth only after you comprehend each word that passed through your ears.
Being able to live beyond one's lifetime in memory throughout another person's lifetime is what makes one legendary, a hero.
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